Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
