i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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