awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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