I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
