I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
