how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize