the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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