I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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