I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
