so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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