I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
