i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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