Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
foreskin is a definite game changer
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
