we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize