I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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