u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
