I wanna passion pit in your ass
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
