Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
