I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sext me about skeletons
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
