I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
