it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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