When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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