That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize