I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
