So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
