Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
