Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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