my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I skipped work to stalk him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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