so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
