Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
