One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
