O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize