WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
