You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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