no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
