I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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