Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
