And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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