You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
