Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
