I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
