i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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