I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
