I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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