Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
