I just cut my nipple shaving
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think people are normalizing furries
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
