On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize