Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
