Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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