Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
