something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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