if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
where does the pee come out of this thing
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize