remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
