Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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