Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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