I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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