fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
