why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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