Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
